So there is this big cliff I cannot finish climbing. It is not quite as big as a mountain, and not so hard to pass by. It is not a great victory to walk over it, nobody would care if I just walked around it. But the thing is I just feel the need to climb it, and the more I try the more I fail and it just makes me want it harder.
I always want what I cannot have. I found out, and that is not a recent discover, that I don't actually like people. But I do love the fact that some people seem sometimes so distant and so unreachable that it is impossible for me not to want them and desire them THAT intensively. I like the hunting, the going after and fighting for it, the coming into, irresponsible flirting and the throwing yourself at. I like it until I get it. Because once you have it, the whole love rush thing is simply over, and what you have left in your hands is some boring one who keeps on saying and doing just about a lot of things I don't actually care about.
The truth is I don't actually care about anybody else but myself and my own needs and wishes. Really, I am one hundred per cent completly selfish pride.
