She turns on the shower, stands outside, the curtains open, looking at the water as it pours heavily into the floor, at the steam, feels the heat on her cheeks. Tries to smile. Maybe she's not there yet. In that place in her life where smiles come easily. She puts her hand under the water and it slowly turns red, then eventually she enters the shower and breathes deeply. Her knees have sores from last night. She foolishly convinces herself that she's not a whore, that she has a plan and that it's necessary to stick with that plan, but it gets harder and harder to cope.
Anna stands against the wall holding a pack of condoms in her hand. From inside the bedroom you can hear a man making drunkenly noises. She puts the condoms on the wall and takes a safety pin from her coats pocket and sticks it in them. The man in the next room disgustes her a little, but it's for a good cause. Anna feels happy. Anna actually doesn't know what it means to feel happy, but she finds it necessary to convince herself that she's doing the right thing. For someone.
She lays in bed, it's almost 2am, thinking about John. John's green eyes. John's smile. The way he cheats during tests in an almost adorable way, trying to hide his intentions. This morning he had bruises in his arms. This makes Anna feel angry in a way that she can't describe, but it's like boiling water climbs up her back and makes the ends of her hair shiver. No one should ever be allowed to hurt him. Her baby. John's her baby. He belongs to her.
